{"id":1593,"date":"2012-10-01T08:00:22","date_gmt":"2012-10-01T00:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/?p=1593"},"modified":"2022-04-19T19:08:11","modified_gmt":"2022-04-19T11:08:11","slug":"61-fidelity-and-love-are-what-our-hearts-long-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/?p=1593","title":{"rendered":"65. Fidelity and Love Are What Our Hearts Long For"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"color: #008080;\"><strong>Then God said, \u201cLet us make man in our image, after our likeness \u2026.\u201d So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them<\/strong>.\u201d<\/span> [<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Genesis 1:26-27<\/span>]<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/Fidelity-and-Love1.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-1595\" title=\"Fidelity and Love\" src=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/Fidelity-and-Love1-162x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"186\" height=\"344\" \/>\u00a0<\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/michelangelo.Fall-and-Expulsion-of-Adam-and-Eve-1510.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-1597\" title=\"michelangelo.Fall and Expulsion of Adam and Eve, 1510\" src=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/michelangelo.Fall-and-Expulsion-of-Adam-and-Eve-1510-300x154.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"665\" height=\"340\" \/><span style=\"color: #008080;\">\u00a0<span style=\"color: #000000;\">Michelangelo\u2019s Fall and Expulsion of Adam and Eve, 1510.<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Fidelity and Love<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Inscribed on this card are these words: \u201cFidelity and love are what our hearts long for.\u201d The card was given to us by a French Missionary to Africa, Fr Dominique Arnauld, on our first meeting in Leuven, Belgium. Intuitively, he knew that for a married couple, fidelity and love underlie the core values of our existence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">They symbolise the yearning deep in our human souls. Wherever we may be spiritually, whatever we may have done in life, and whatever we may be planning on doing in life, <em>deep down<\/em>, we are all yearning for fidelity and love. Why? Because our Creator-God desires fidelity and love. God has made us for fidelity and love. We are pre-programmed to desire fidelity and love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">We remember once reading a report on an experiment conducted by an American university English Literature professor. In a simple survey amongst his class of young American men and women, he invited them to write down the top two qualities they wished most to see in their future spouse. The answers that came back somewhat surprised the professor. Even though certain qualities varied, fidelity featured in every answer. In a post-modern society that treasures personal freedom above all else, and a culture that is easily characterized as hedonistic, it does come as a surprise that fidelity tops the scale of desired values in a future spouse amongst the American undergraduates.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">We all value faithfulness as a deeply committed devotion. <em>I will be there for you.<\/em> For better or worse. For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health. These are the <em>treasures<\/em> we long for, the ones that make our lives rich beyond compare, no matter what our circumstances and how horribly inadequate we may be in keeping them ourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Our Patch of Grass<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Married life is the patch of grass given us by God. Married couples can proudly display their slogan: \u201cWe are married people!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Married life is a gift from God!<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">It is our calling in Christian life!<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Married life is <em>our<\/em> call to holiness!<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">It is <em>our<\/em> way of discipleship!<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">It is <em>the<\/em> patch of grass given us by God!<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">God wants us to feed well on <em>our<\/em> patch of grass!<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">It is the will of God for us.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">And yet, we are confronted by horrendous divorce statistics in all modern societies, and there is every indication that the divorce rates amongst Christians are as scandalous as those of non-Christians. What does the Book of Genesis have to say about this?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>A Penitential Scripture<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In this area of reflection, the first three chapters of Genesis ought to be treated as one unit. When we read them right through without pause, there is an inescapable and stunning impression that the narrative moves very fast indeed.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The first chapter recounts the first creation story in which God created the universe in six days and rested on the seventh.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The second chapter turns to a second creation story, concluding on the gift of man and woman to each other in community, setting off on a new life on their own away from their parents. Realising that it was not good for the man that He had created to be alone and so desperately in need of community, God created the woman. Notice the jubilation when the woman was brought to him: Alleluia, praise the Lord! Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord! For \u201cthis at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.\u201d And then they dashed into the church and made their mindless promises to treasure each other and all that, till death them do part. The marriage certificate was signed, sealed, and delivered in no time. They jumped into bed and the two became one-flesh.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">And then we turn the page to get into the third chapter, and at once all hell broke loose. Things fell apart. The centre could not hold. The great Fall had set in. Before the ink on the marriage certificate was dry, the avowed couple of one-flesh was heading to the divorce court. The speed with which the fall followed jubilation was quite stunning in a quick reading of Genesis chapter one through chapter three.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">What happened?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">What happened may be traced to one single point, namely, humanity freely and willfully choosing to go against God\u2019s instructions. And then, a litany of consequences like fallen dominos came tumbling down.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In Genesis 1-3, what God created was good\/ very good, but left in human hands, things quickly turned bad.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Sin was first and foremost, an estrangement from God upon the free choice of humans.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Genesis teaches the fundamental lesson about sin: We are estranged from God <em>before<\/em> we are estranged from each other.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Estrangement from God in turn led to estrangement from fellow humans.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Praise for the divine design quickly transformed into a complaint and a curse &#8212; \u201cbone of my bones and flesh of my flesh\u201d degraded into \u201c<em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">This woman<\/span>..<\/em>.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Jubilation over the gift of communal living became a curse as the two-in-one-flesh was torn asunder \u2013 \u201c<em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">she<\/span><\/em> gave me to eat.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Gratitude for God\u2019s gift of partnership degenerated into a veiled complaint against God &#8212; \u201cThis woman <em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">you<\/span><\/em> gave me&#8230;\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Hence, humanity began the habit of blaming all and sundry for human woes except facing up to one\u2019s own failures.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Banishment from the Garden of Eden followed suit.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">It is then immensely helpful to see the first three chapters of the Book of Genesis through the interpretive lens of French philosopher Paul Ricoeur [1913-2005] who reads the story as essentially a piece of penitential writing. Through that lens, we now comprehend the story of the Fall as <em>penitential in spirit<\/em>, told by the inspired author:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">to say sorry to God for spoiling the order and beauty God gave us \u201cin the beginning\u201d,<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">to acknowledge that what God gave us in the beginning was \u201cvery good\u201d, but it is we who have spoiled things, because of sins,<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">to see clearly that it is human sins that break the relationship with God,<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">to comprehend the theological truth about sin being first an estrangement from God in vertical relationship before the breakup of the \u201cone flesh\u201d in horizontal relationship,<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">to stop blaming God for the woes in society and in our lives,<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">to assume responsibility for our own mistakes,<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">to remember again, what God has given us, and<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">to try again and do better.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Mother Church has got it right in one crucial respect. Whenever the people of faith come together for communal worship \u2013 that <em>memoria<\/em> service [which is what the celebration is about in the first place] of what God has done for us in Jesus Christ &#8211; we corporately [as the ecclesial Body of Christ] begin together, but with every person in that Body individually, acknowledging one\u2019s sins or complicity to sins. In clear response to man\u2019s [Adam\u2019s] sinful refusal to admit his own sins in Genesis, and in keeping with the penitential spirit of the inspired author, that acknowledgement must perforce be owned up and uttered individually. Hence,<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong><em>I <\/em><\/strong>confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that<strong><em> I<\/em><\/strong> have sinned through my own fault, in <strong><em>my<\/em><\/strong> thoughts and in <strong><em>my<\/em><\/strong> words, in what <strong><em>I <\/em><\/strong>have done, and in what <strong><em>I <\/em><\/strong>have failed to do; and <strong><em>I <\/em><\/strong>ask Blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for <strong><em>me<\/em><\/strong> to the Lord our God.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">We recall in this context the words of William Temple, the Anglican Archbishop of Canterbury of the 1940s, who said: &#8220;The only thing of my very own which I contribute to redemption is the sin from which I need to be redeemed.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">With that in mind, estranged couples can begin again. They can unlearn many mistakes and begin their journey afresh as they grow and mature in fidelity and love. They will confront myriad issues. We imagine the following three for starters.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">First, there shall be no finger-pointing. There shall be no attempts to shove away responsibilities and to place blames at others\u2019 doorsteps. Instead, each spouse shall humbly own up his or her faults and failures, repent, say sorry, and seek reconciliation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Second, the couple can return to the beginning of it all, to the Book of Genesis and recover the two fundamental principles taught in the first creation story, namely, fundamental human dignity and fundamental human equality, regardless of genders. These are crucial for the understanding of the human person, a subject on which the immediate past and current Catholic popes have rendered tireless attention. Pope John Paul II\u2019s strong legacy is his emphasis on the importance of the human person. All people have <em>inherent<\/em> <em>dignity<\/em> simply because they are born, and so <em>must be respected<\/em>. Pope Benedict XVI stresses that the human person is <em>the heart of peace<\/em>. Peace is promoted by respecting the inalienable dignity of the human person created by God. Peace is not just a gift, it is essentially a task. To get started on the journey of peace, <em>respect people! <\/em>Do not presume any superiority. After all, Genesis 2 reminds us all that we are made from ashes and to ashes we shall return.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Third, as forgiveness creates the family we all believe in and yearn for, the couple can sober down, listen, and live this counsel from Our Lady of Naju, South Korea:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em>Do not criticize or judge others, but convert your heart to God. Families are sick. Sanctify your family by loving one another. Never blame others, but always blame yourself only. Those who accept my message of love will experience a renewal of their souls.<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">This advice, ascribed to our Blessed Mother, essentially reiterates the advice of the Lord to take the plank out of one\u2019s own eye, before removing the speck from someone else\u2019s (Matthew 7:5). It resonates deeply with the penitential spirit that we saw in Genesis 1-3, and brings us back to the heart of the Creator.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Copyright \u00a9 Dr. Jeffrey &amp; Angie Goh, October 2012. All rights reserved.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">You are most welcome to respond to this post. Email your comments to us at<strong> <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">jeffangiegoh@gmail.com<\/span>.<\/strong> You can also be dialogue partners in this <em>Ephphatha Coffee-Corner Ministry<\/em> by sending us questions for discussion.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Then God said, \u201cLet us make man in our image, after our likeness \u2026.\u201d So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.\u201d [Genesis 1:26-27] \u00a0\u00a0Michelangelo\u2019s Fall and Expulsion of Adam and Eve, 1510. Fidelity and Love Inscribed on this card are <a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/?p=1593\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"rttpg_featured_image_url":null,"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"Dr. Jeffrey &amp; Angie Goh","author_link":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/?author=1"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"<a href=\"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/?cat=1\" rel=\"category\">From Our Perspective<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"Then God said, \u201cLet us make man in our image, after our likeness \u2026.\u201d So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.\u201d [Genesis 1:26-27] \u00a0\u00a0Michelangelo\u2019s Fall and Expulsion of Adam and Eve, 1510. Fidelity and Love Inscribed on this card are&hellip;","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1593"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1593"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1593\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7072,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1593\/revisions\/7072"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1593"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1593"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1593"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}