{"id":4009,"date":"2016-08-01T08:00:44","date_gmt":"2016-08-01T00:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/?p=4009"},"modified":"2021-11-26T06:47:46","modified_gmt":"2021-11-25T22:47:46","slug":"157-amoris-laetitia-on-pastoral-care-for-%e2%80%9cirregular-marriages%e2%80%9d-and-wounded-families","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/?p=4009","title":{"rendered":"157. Amoris Laetitia: On pastoral care for \u201cirregular marriages\u201d and wounded families"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>\u201c<span style=\"color: #008080;\">Go and learn what this means, \u2018I desire mercy, not sacrifice.\u2019 For I have come to call not the righteous but sinner<\/span>s.\u201d<\/strong> [<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Matthew 9:1<\/span><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">3<\/span>, <span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em>NRSV<\/em>]<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Table-fellowship.51.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-4012\" title=\"Family All Together At Christmas Dinner\" src=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Table-fellowship.51-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"278\" height=\"185\" \/><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Table-fellowship.11.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-4020\" title=\"Table fellowship.11\" src=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Table-fellowship.11-300x209.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"261\" height=\"182\" \/><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Table-fellowship.16.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-4018\" title=\"Table fellowship.16\" src=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Table-fellowship.16-300x168.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"328\" height=\"183\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">We recall the profound imagery of joy and sorrow with which the Lineamenta for the 2015 Synod opened its preparatory reflections. It refers to the deep listening heart of Pope Francis who speaks of the evening time at the dining table. What does he see?<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">There, he sees warmth and affection, wine and feast. The atmosphere exudes with love. There is love, joy, fidelity and trust as members enjoy the company of each other in table-fellowship. This is an image of the joy of love that the Holy Father rejoices and urges us all to promote. <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">But, he <em>never<\/em> forgets those facing loneliness and bitterness, shattered dreams and broken plans, whose wine has run dry. He feels their wounds as he senses their unfinished symphonies. He refuses to be distant and aloof to their sufferings in life. He calls the whole Church to compassion and mercy.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">This is the same adult reality of joys and sorrows the Pope wants his adult readers to see and think about in <em>Amoris<\/em> <em>Laetitia<\/em>, for this is the very call to us all in the Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World of the Second Vatican Council.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u201cThe joys and the hopes, the griefs and the anxieties of the people of this age, especially those who are poor or in any way afflicted, these are the joys and hopes, the griefs and anxieties of the followers of Christ.\u201d [GS, 1]<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">From the outset, Pope Francis sets out his agenda very clearly. While, therefore, the text opens with the joy of love in family life, it at once reports that the Synod Fathers have noted \u201cmany signs of crisis in the institution of marriage\u201d in this modern world. Indeed, the concrete complexities of the issues affecting families in today\u2019s world compel us to avoid two extremes: on the one hand, to demand for a total change of church doctrines and practices and, on the other hand, to solve everything by applying general rules (AL,2). And since general principles need to be inculturated, we should not look to Rome to solve all the ground problems (AL,3-4).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In contrast to the narrow vision of those bent on strict application of doctrine and law, Pope Francis, as usual, has a big-hearted, wholesome and merciful approach to the joys <em>and<\/em> sorrows, beauty and problems, faced by families throughout the world (AL,5). What the Holy Father, in inaugurating this Jubilee Year of Mercy seeks to do is to drive home one crucial message:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong><em>A merciful God wants to see a merciful Church!<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">As we turn to <em>Amoris Laetitia<\/em>, a truly ground-breaking document for the pastoral ministry of the Church, Pope Francis urges us all to meet people <em>where they are<\/em>, not just where we prefer them to be:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">respect the concrete complexities of people\u2019s lives; <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">when real life complications are factored into the equation, problems no longer seem so black and white as we first thought; <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">respect adult people\u2019s consciences when it comes to moral decisions; <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">avoid simply judging people and imposing rules on them, insisting that one size fits all, without considering their struggles. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Pope Francis\u2019 goal is to help people experience God\u2019s love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In doing so, while traditional teachings on marriage are of course strongly affirmed, he insists the church should not burden people with unrealistic expectations.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">And, do not put on people any artificial \u201ctheological ideal\u201d of marriage that is removed from their everyday lives. This can become an impossible burden. Priests, he suggests, need to be better trained to deal with the complexities of people\u2019s lives. If a priest is not suitable to hear confession, with a tendency to turn the confessional into a \u201ctorture chamber\u201d, he should be transferred out to a quiet desk-job.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">All this requires \u201c<em>new<\/em>\u201d pastoral approaches to offer mercy and tenderness to irregular and other anomalous family situations:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Practise<\/span><\/em> an approach of accompaniment. To accompany wounded people, first you <em>listen<\/em> to their stories. To encourage people to live by the Gospel, but also to be a church that welcomes and appreciates their struggles, and treats them with mercy.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Respect<\/span><\/em> the role of conscience as being paramount in decision-making. \u201cThe Church is to <em>form<\/em> consciences, not to replace them\u201d. And while it is true that a person\u2019s conscience needs to be formed by Church teaching, our conscience does much more than just follow rules.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Moderate<\/span><\/em> our language when we speak to people caught in difficult or imperfect situations. Stop using rough language on people: e.g., \u201cintrinsic evil\u201d, \u201cliving in sin\u201d&#8230; It can no longer be said that those living in irregular marriages are in a \u201cstate of mortal sin\u201d or a \u201cpermanent state of sin\u201d.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Offer<\/span><\/em> understanding, comfort and acceptance to single mothers. Children born out of wedlock are innocent. To an unmarried pregnant woman worried that her parish priest would not baptize her child, the Pope encouraged her to keep the baby, promising to baptize the child should her parish priest really refuse to do so.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Integrate<\/span><\/em> to the best that we can everyone into the life and mission of the faith community. People caught in whatever \u201cirregular\u201d situations should not be excluded and marginalised, for they too are children of God and have different gifts to offer the church.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Do not apply<\/span> moral laws like using stones to throw at other people\u2019s lives. Recall Jesus protecting the woman caught in adultery (John 8).<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Concerning the \u201cirregular\u201d and \u201cwounded\u201d families, we draw out three items from Pope Francis\u2019 pastoral insights for reflection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>1. Pope Francis\u2019 pastoral approach follows the <em>law of gradualness<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Mindful of the complexities of real life, Pope Francis wants the Church to show mercy and compassion to people who fall short of the Christian ideals.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">We must help people in difficulties, to give them a chance to improve and to gradually move towards the perfection enshrined in doctrine and law. This is <em>not<\/em> \u201cgradualness of the law\u201d, as the law is always definitive, clear and precise [AL,295]. But the law of gradualness refers to a pastoral insight which appreciates that, like Jesus, we must meet people where they are, and gradually lead them to better places where God wants to see them at. For this insight, Jesus\u2019 patience and mercy in relating to the <em>Samaritan woman at the well<\/em> (John 4:1-42) and the<em> woman caught in adultery<\/em> (John 7:53-8:11) are\u00a0useful illustrations for the kind of Church we are called to be.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Christ-and-the-Adulterous-Woman-Rodolpho-Bernardelli-1881.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-4010\" title=\"Christ and the Adulterous Woman, Rodolpho Bernardelli, 1881\" src=\"http:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Christ-and-the-Adulterous-Woman-Rodolpho-Bernardelli-1881.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"577\" height=\"764\" \/><\/a> <span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em>Christ and the Adulterous Woman<\/em>, by Rodolpho Bernardelli, 1881.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In John 8: 1-11, Jesus gives us a pastoral blueprint<strong>:<\/strong> <em>start not<\/em> with strict doctrines and harsh laws, <em>but<\/em> with love and mercy. Why? Because Jesus knows that real life is <em>difficult<\/em> and that real life is sometimes <em>complicated<\/em>. People experiencing life difficulties need understanding, a gentle touch, and a kind word. They need love and care, <em>not<\/em> more judgment and condemnation. Thus, Jesus saves the woman from a very bad situation and delivers her to a place where she has a chance to live, to breathe again, and the possibility of a new life of grace, that sins \u201cno more\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Quoting the episode of Jesus\u2019 encounter with the adulterous woman in paragraph 38, Pope Francis reiterates the pastoral insight that a merciful God wants a merciful Church.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u201cThe Church must be a place of mercy freely given, where everyone can feel welcomed, loved, forgiven and encouraged to live the good life of the Gospel.\u201d [<em>Evangelii Gaudium, <\/em>114].<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">For Christians, Jesus is the embodiment of God\u2019s love and the exemplar of divine mercy. So the Holy Father urges that we gaze on Christ.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u201cTo get diverted by many secondary or superfluous things does not help. What helps is to focus on the fundamental reality, which is the <em>encounter with Christ<\/em>, with his mercy and with his love.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>2. The first aim has got to be <em>pastoral conversion<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In <em>Amoris<\/em> <em>Laetitia<\/em>, Pope Francis is <em>not<\/em> seeking to change doctrines and laws. He is <em>reforming<\/em> our pastoral practices. He sees that what the Church needs is a solid sense of <em>mission <\/em>in the name of Christ. That mission drive rests on a <em>pastoral conversion<\/em>, which begins in two fundamental steps.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Step one is to open the doors to our hearts, to receive the Light of the World Jesus of Nazareth as he is <em>portrayed in the Gospels<\/em>. There, we find a compassionate and merciful Jesus who lives in the margins and identifies with the Poor and the excluded. He is <em>not<\/em> the Jesus portrayed in strict doctrines and unyielding laws harboured in hardened hearts. The greatest calamity is a hardened heart, for it will keep you from receiving spiritual truths.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Step two is to open the doors of our church, our office and our home, not so we may receive people, but so we may, in the first place, go out on mission, especially to the wounded and the confused, those who are hurting and are experiencing difficulties in life. In a word, to go where the <em>needs<\/em> are.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">All this should hopefully help us understand better and more deeply our present, very pastoral-minded Pope, and appreciate him even more when we read those \u201cdifficult\u201d, \u201ccontroversial\u201d and highly debated paragraphs and footnotes in the text of <em>Amoris Laetitia<\/em>. He <em>urges<\/em> the opening of our hearts to those caught in difficult marriages and family situations and reaching out to them with love and mercy. He <em>directs<\/em> parish priests to have Jesus in their hearts and journey with the people who have problems, mindful of the need for private dialogue and discernment and personalised advice, especially on the question of access to communion for the divorced and civilly remarried.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">To this evidently most controversial topic of allowing access to communion to the divorced and civilly remarried Catholics we now turn.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>3. Concerning the divorced and remarried in Chapter 8<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The fundamental point <em>Amoris<\/em> <em>Laetitia<\/em> makes in this regard is the insistence upon the need to differentiate and distinguish between different situations in which divorced and remarried Catholics find themselves, so that it is literary obligatory upon a pastoral-Church to offer pastoral discernment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The principles that are more fully detailed in the text include the following:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Do not condemn people forever. The Gospel is not like that (AL,297); <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Do not pigeonhole people \u201cinto overly rigid classifications\u201d (AL,298); <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Be conscious of the \u201cimmense variety of concrete situations\u201d (AL,299); <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">When the Church undertakes \u201cresponsible and pastoral discernment\u201d in each case, we may recognise that \u201cthe degree of responsibility is not equal in all cases\u201d so that \u201cthe consequences or effects of a rule need not necessarily always be the same\u201d (AL,300); <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In some cases, no grave fault exists (AL,300; footnote336); <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Remember that the Church recognises mitigating factors (AL,301-303); and<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">People in \u201cobjective situation of sin\u201d may not necessarily be \u201csubjectively culpable\u201d (AL,305). <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Given these and other considerations, it is utterly wrong for pastors to close their hearts and refuse the work of discernment, or turn the confessional into \u201ca torture chamber\u201d, and close off the way of grace (AL,305). Instead, with his tender and fatherly heart, Francis wants pastors to approach these imperfect situations with an eye to what is good in them and with a loving proposal for conversion.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Then comes the tricky part. Pastors may find that after proper discernment, sacraments may be helpful, the Pope suggests. After all, the Eucharist is \u201c<em>not a prize for the perfect<\/em>, but a powerful medicine and nourishment for the weak\u201d (AL, footnote 351). An opening to communion is clearly suggested for the divorced and civilly remarried Catholics. This opening is officially reserved for the <em>internal forum<\/em> \u2013 in a private discernment between pastor and faithful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em>Amoris Laetitia<\/em> asks the Church to help families of every sort and people in every state of life. Let them know that even in their imperfections, they can be homes for God\u2019s love as well as places where people will concretely experience that love. The divorced and civilly remarried, as well as any other Catholics found in so-called \u201cirregular\u201d and \u201canomalous\u201d situations are all children of God who must be integrated into faith communities in all possible ways, while avoiding scandal (AL,299).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Pope Francis offers a new vision of a pastoral and merciful Church that welcomes and encourages families and all people to experience the joy of love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Do not \u201cput so many conditions on mercy that we empty it of its concrete meaning and real significance,\u201d he urges. \u201cDo not water down the Gospel of Jesus Christ,\u201d he sharply reminds us all (AL,311)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">It is hoped that, despite the ultra-conservative section of the Church that is bent on denigrating every pastoral effort made by Pope Francis, Catholics everywhere do really begin to understand what the Holy Father is trying to do within our Church. He wants to change it from a Church that is judgmental, sometimes harsh, often condemnatory, into a Church that is like Christ, always merciful, always welcoming, always drawing people in by being like a field hospital, taking the <em>wounded<\/em>, the \u201c<em>irregular<\/em>\u201d, the <em>suffering<\/em>, and making them a part of our community, drawing together a community of love and forgiveness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">There is a very good line from the Filipino Bishops in their response to <em>Amoris Laetitia <\/em>useful for our practical adoption: \u201cMercy does not have to wait for guidelines.\u201d We <em>do not have to<\/em> wait for any \u201cofficial\u201d word to do good, to be kind and merciful. We <em>can<\/em> exercise mercy anywhere, anytime.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Copyright \u00a9 Dr. Jeffrey &amp; Angie Goh, August 2016. All rights reserved.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">You are most welcome to respond to this post. Email your comments to <strong> <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">jeffangiegoh@gmail.com<\/span>.<\/strong> You can also be dialogue partners in this <em>Ephphatha Coffee-Corner Ministry<\/em> by sending us questions for discussion.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cGo and learn what this means, \u2018I desire mercy, not sacrifice.\u2019 For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.\u201d [Matthew 9:13, NRSV] We recall the profound imagery of joy and sorrow with which the Lineamenta for the 2015 Synod opened its preparatory reflections. It refers to the deep listening heart of Pope <a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/?p=4009\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"rttpg_featured_image_url":null,"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"Dr. Jeffrey &amp; Angie Goh","author_link":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/?author=1"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"<a href=\"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/?cat=1\" rel=\"category\">From Our Perspective<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"\u201cGo and learn what this means, \u2018I desire mercy, not sacrifice.\u2019 For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.\u201d [Matthew 9:13, NRSV] We recall the profound imagery of joy and sorrow with which the Lineamenta for the 2015 Synod opened its preparatory reflections. It refers to the deep listening heart of Pope&hellip;","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4009"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4009"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4009\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6813,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4009\/revisions\/6813"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4009"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4009"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jeffangiegoh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4009"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}